A nurse just went into the bathroom and came out visibly shaken.
Hubby’s specimen extraordinaire has now been escorted out by security.
They are probably doing a postmortem now, even though it was still alive and launching its pan-to-nostrils offensives as it was being taken out.
I guess we can rest assured that it died fighting.
It sure as hell smelt that way.
It’s sure to be interred as peacefully as it came into the world.
The cleaner has been into the bathroom twice and walked out in disgust both times.
I think hubby’s stool sample is creating its own little code grey in there.
The doctor asked for a stool sample, so this morning my husband obliged.
He has been telling nurses for 90 minutes that it’s in the bathroom waiting for them.
I’ve been adding my own commentary to the conversations:
“It’s THIS BIG!”
“I just checked… it’s now three feet long.”
“I guess you’re used to people trying to give you crap.”
“I guess if they don’t take it away, we’ll have to go on undeterred.”
“Your request has been logged.”
“Well, that’s just shit.”
“You weren’t meant to fill the whole container, you know…”
“It just kept piling up like he’s a soft-serve machine or something.”
“Any drinks or fries with your order?”
“There’s a bear in there…”
It’s a gift.
You’re welcome.
Oh wait, I can use that, too.
It’s my birthday today. I am happy to put it on the record that I have had a fabulous day.
Many people who share my life in one way or another have sent me birthday wishes via Facebook, Twitter and Skype.
Even more than their birthday wishes, I am very thankful for the friendship and the love and encouragement each of them give me every other day of the year. Each of them is a blessing to me and i am very thankful for them.
I have also been able to spend time talking with my special Canadians. That time I spend with them is precious to me every day. Today is no different in that regard, but it was very special that they wished me love and happiness when they are so involved in giving me both.
My birthday started with bacon, eggs and hollandaise on toast, cooked by the resident Masterchef, Fred. It was sensational.
I was blessed with a number of gifts that were not only very beautiful but incredibly meaningful to me. I am so thankful for the love and thoughtfulness that went into the selection and giving of each of them.
I have three bouquets of beautiful flowers – roses on the dining table, and two mixed bouquets on my desk. They are all so sweet and lovely, yet not so highly fragrant that they will give me a headache.
I had an afternoon sleep. Not just a quick nap to keep me going. Two hours of completely zonked-out sleep, and no feelings of guilt when I woke up because all my school work was finished on Friday afternoon.
My house smelled SO freakin’ good leading up to dinner.
In our house, you get to request whatever you want for dinner. I asked for Indian food. Fred and Lynne-Maree cooked butter chicken, garlic naan, and onion bajhi. I can’t describe how good it tasted. Divine, in fact.
For dessert, there was lemon meringue pie from my favourite bakery. I was so excited about this. It is by far the best LMP to ever exist, It should come with a warning, though – it will spoil you for every other LMP that you will have the privilege to enjoy.
The velvety, tangy-sweet pie melted in my mouth, its rich lemony-goodness delivering the most delightful foodgasmic pleasure.
Tonight it’s time to relax: chatting with friends, spending time with my man, enjoying one of my few favourite TV shows.
It’s wonderful to be loved, spoilt with gifts and special treats. It’s so good be able to enjoy the rest and relaxation I’ve earned in the crazy-busy rush to meet all my work deadlines of the past few weeks.
It has definitely been a special day for Princess Me.
During an audition reading today, from the script of “The Pirates of Penzance”:
“If, and I say if, you really are a beautiful woman, there shall be no obstacle to our onion…”
Union. Onion.
So close.
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Our waitress just arrived at our table with dessert, and announced quite loudly, “Hi, I’ve got a sticky date…”
She didn’t even blink when I was obviously trying not to crack up.
She didn’t announce the two serves of lemon meringue pie she was carrying, either.
I’ve often joked that I would like to buy a pub, name it ‘The Gym’ and post regularly on Facebook that I was working hard at the Gym.
The guy who owns the Gym Sportsbar on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood has done exactly that. It’s genius, really.
‘Happy hour’ is from 4 til 8 each day, and most drinks are 2 for 1.
You can enjoy your drink and watch your choice of sports, or play darts, or just chat with the other patrons.
The locals and staff are all really friendly, and by the second time there we felt almost like locals.
It’s actually really nice to see that the guys who work at this bar get along really well and choose to hang out there and play darts or watch sports even when they aren’t actually working.
When you get hungry, Five Guys is right next door and they gladly and frequently deliver. Those burgers are really, really good: not greasy at all and the salad was super fresh.
When visiting the Hollywood area, lots of people like to go to the bars, clubs and restaurants frequented by the rich and famous in the hope of seeing or meeting celebrities.
If, like me, that’s not your style, The Gym Sportsbar is a pretty cool place to spend some time and enjoy getting to know some of the West Hollywood community.
Our time in LA has been spent in the West Hollywood and Hollywood area.
Our hotel – the Ramada On Santa Monica Blvd at West Hollywood- was suggested for us by our travel agent back in Melbourne, and it has been sensational. It’s not absolute top-of-the-line but it’s really nicely appointed and the service is outstanding. It’s also really well situated as there are lots of bars, cafés and restaurants as well as shops, salons and gyms.
When I posted about my Route 66 experiences in Albuquerque I had no idea that our hotel in LA was also on Route 66. That was a lovely bonus that I discovered upon arrival.
It’s really cool when things work out like that. Aces.
It’s really cool looking over the desert landscape of Arizona en route to LA. Dark rocky outcrops stand out among with the rich sandy tones of the plains. A large blue lake shimmers in contrast to the rocks and sand, while a ribbon of settlement and farms draws life from its water.
The Rocky Mountains extend north and south, the highest peaks still lightly dusted with snow. I can see where the snow is starting to melt and run down to meet the streams below.
I didn’t realise I was going to see these majestic mountains, and I feel so small but also so blessed at the same time.
The landscape flattens into a rich tapestry of pasture and agriculture, fed by streams and another bright blue lake. They give way to much more settled areas, networks of roads and then the suburbs of LA.
I would have taken pictures of all of that, but the window at my seat is too scratched to allow any photography. That’s a very great shame, because everything I saw was amazing.
New Mexico is beautiful.
It’s different to every other part of the USA that we have visited. There is a very strong Mexican and Native American influence on the culture and way of life.
The scenery is breathtaking. The colours of the desert soil and rocks change through the day.
The Sandia Mountains rise behind Albuquerque, creating a dramatic backdrop to the life of the people who love there. At sunset they turn a dramatic pinkish-red colour, for which they are named: “sandia” translates to “watermelon”.
We went up into the Sandias in the late afternoon and looked out over Albuquerque, the desert around it, and the volcanoes in the distance. We would have loved a chance to visit those lava fields, but our time was too limited.
As the city lights began to flick on and the dusk deepened, I could clearly see Route 66 passing right through town.
The people of New Mexico are very friendly and engaging. They love to stop and talk. They smile a lot. They love to be helpful and are very welcoming to visitors.
My first visit here has been very special. This place has touched me in quite a powerful and almost spiritual way, which I had not expected.
I am not sure whether I have fallen a little bit in love, or whether I’ve enjoyed a beautiful flirtation.
Either way, I am leaving with some delightful memories which I am sure will make me smile for many years to come.
An Aussie Maple Leaf, adrift on the wind... 