My plans for today are not optional. That is a luxury rarely available to me.
When I woke up, though, I realised my body has other ideas:
Me: “Come on, legs. You can do it!”
My legs: “No. We can’t.”
Me: “You have to.”
My legs: “Fine. But we’re going to make you suffer.”
My back: “I’m with them.”
My fingers: “Us too!”
I got up and showered. I needed the hot water for my back, but the water hitting my skin was painful.
I dressed, but then had to change into something made from softer fabric that didn’t hurt my skin so much just by being against it.
I downed my medications, hoping they would work quickly. They didn’t.
I drank my coffee, hoping the caffeine would make a difference. It didn’t.
I can’t take any more pain killers for hours. I can have more caffeine, though, so that is definitely happening.
This is one snapshot of one morning. One morning that is complete typical of many others in my life, and in the lives of other fibromyalgia sufferers.
And now, I am off to a full day of rehearsals that I have to attend because I am the director.
Today is going to be an exercise in perseverance and in drawing upon my actor’s craft. The role I play today needs to be motivated and excited, and able to project that motivation and commitment into my cast and crew.
I cannot fall over. I will not fall over. That is, at least, until I get home.
Tell you what, though. I’m glad my other half is cooking dinner, because I’m already exhausted.