Funny things I’ve heard in America #4

Earlier today we stopped at a truck stop/travel plaza for coffee and food.
Pizza seemed like a good idea, until I started talking to the guy at the Pizza Hut Express counter.
“Hi, what’s on the supreme pizza?”
“I don’t know, ma’am.”
“You don’t know?”
“Sorry, ma’am, no I don’t.”

“So, do you know what’s on the marinara pizza?”
“No ma’am, I don’t.”

“So tell me, is there any cheese on the cheese pizza?”
“I guess so, but couldn’t say for sure.”

“OK. Maybe I’ll just take the supreme pizza, thanks.”
“We don’t have any of those.”
“There’s one right here in the warmer.”
“Oh hey, cool!”

I’m guessing he’s not topping any classes.

Dumb and dumber.

We stopped at a roadside information centre in Hartford, VT where there were several police vehicles, including a K-9 unit parked and talking casually.
Just as I was taking a typical tourist “rubbernecking” photograph of the police units, a shiny black truck pulled into the stop and sideswiped one of the police pickups.
The police yelled at the driver to stop, then to stop the engine and get out of the vehicle. The police dog barked and strained at its lead; they are trained to protect their officers and vehicles as well as sniffing out the bad stuff and things/people that need to be found. One officer picked up the fender of the pickup and tossed it in the back of the vehicle.
In those couple of very dramatic seconds, the truck driver responded by hanging out of the window of his truck and yelling at the police for parking in a stupid place.
Really? That’s how you’re going to respond to a bunch of angry cops when you have just tried to park on one of their vehicles?

We watched, quite amused, as the police went over every inch of his truck looking for violations.

As the officer with the dog brought his K-9 workmate back to his vehicle, I explained that I was a tourist from Australia and I would like a picture of his dog. They were both happy to pose for a picture, although Mitch the German Shepherd was still more interested in the scowling truck driver a few metres away.